Face (of) the day

Today’s post relates to the anxiety of lockdown, the amplified feeling of helplessness and isolation, which, in many ways, manifested itself as we were confronted with the racist US police brutality. I recently watched the BBC 1987 documentary Fouteen Days in May  (link to watch online if you don’t have BBC iplayer) and even though this took place over 30 years ago, the statistics about black men being convicted vs white men, and the way the colour of their skin seems to dictate their fate, haven’t changed much if at all: it’s truly harrowing. It is tragic to realise that prisons and death row inmates are still dominated by a black demographic. The inmate was being filmed by the BBC and thought that the fact he was being filmed might save him. “Do you know something I don’t?” he helplessly asked his young British lawyer. Alas, a camera might record but it can’t stop the reality. I personally find the death penalty shockingly barbaric: even when guilty, many of these criminals endured horrific upbringings and social inequality. (Read Guilty by Reason of Insanity: A Psychiatrist Explores the Minds of Killers by Dorothy Otnow Lewis). In a country where criminals are treated like dangerous animals to be put down it is hardly surprising that brute force is used when apprehending them. Indeed it seems clear that this tactic was well rehearsed, it just had never resulted in a death before. Perhaps even the fact that there was an audience, made the police even more vindictive. One can only speculate and aim for this video evidence to act as a catalyst for real change.

All this takes place in the shadow of an invisible and impartial enemy... although even the virus seems to disproportionally kill BAME (black Asian minority ethnic) groups. The claustrophobia and anger at helpless governments who simply cannot protect its citizens from a disease which is unpredictable and unpreventable by any means other than forcing us all to cower from within secluded homes. The anger from businesses who are forced to therefore shut down and the trickle down effect which means people’s futures are in jeopardy. Especially young people who are cruelly denied times in their life which they’ll never recover: the liberty of university life and the opportunities waiting for them once they graduate, or school children denied the simple joy of growing up in a rowdy schoolroom joshing about with their friends... the list goes on. I can’t help but wonder if the protests are to some, a chance to recreate a social communal gathering, especially if music acts are to take place and celebrities are to attend and give talks. Now doesn’t seem the time to encourage mass gatherings and the inevitable looting is a side effect of releasing all the pent up frustration and rushing into angry demonstration. I noticed a Facebook advert for a London protest advises attendees to self isolate for two weeks afterwards but surely many of them live in shared homes and in practise this invites inevitable exposure for people who would otherwise be sheltered from risk. Regardless of the merits or I should say necessity of visible protest at this abhorrent crime, I think encouraging mass gatherings whilst a virus is still a real threat, is wrong. I also think that the trouble with these “trending” social issues is that it gets a lot of traction and then is all but forgotten and the lessons are not learned. The killing of George Floyd is but the latest in a terrible list of black victims.

And onto beauty; beauty brands are expected to proclaim how upset they are and how much money they will be donating. I think this is misguided in the sense that it commercialises tragedy and pivots a serious issue into a marketing ground. Nonetheless the money is vital and of value but the abuse met out to celebrities and brands who don’t publicly speak out, seems also a kind of prejudicial witch-hunt. People should be able to not have the pressure of their skin colour used against them. But I know that when you are from an ethnic minority you are treated as an Other and whether you want to or not, you do stand as a cipher. So the pressure to be an example is very real and cannot be thrown off. Blackout Tuesday was a noble aim to mute social media and educate oneself on the history of black suffering and prejudice. Prejudice goes both ways and often there is racism within racism such as rap lyrics praising pale black women as ‘redbone’ etc and black celebrities using filters to lighten their skin to this more ‘desirable’ caramel tone or change their features and hair and so on. The racism is not simply coming from white supremacists. Within beauty however there is the added spectre of how foundation shades and even lipsticks are named. What, indeed, does “nude” mean?

 I think broadly shades are named in a neutral way, shades like Estée Lauder shell, Bone, nutmeg, etc all seem fine to me... but there will be a shift I suspect, a hyper awareness of what shade names invoke. I think beauty naming in general needs reassessing because aside from the eye rolling crude sexual double entendres, the drug and addiction type names are also unnecessary and degrading. That doesn’t mean names have to be numbers or boring but it does mean we don’t need to perpetuate makeup as a weakness or a call for sexual attention and (male) approval.

Blackout Tuesday had the ironic effect of being a time to in fact engage more with social media, the black square taking on something of a smug badge of honour, and again, those brands or individuals not using it being vilified for not joining in and thus the logic went aligning themselves with right wing racists. The way of press-ganging individuals to join the cult of vitriol doesn’t seem the way to progress. It seems that it would bring about a short term burst and then the fashion of political protest fizzles down and it’s  onto the next trendy cause to capture the zeitgeist. Racism or more broadly I would say prejudice is a relic from the past which one assumes is eradicated but it isn’t. The need to think of oneself as having an Other to persecute, is irresistible, and shows no signs of abating.

Martin Luther King (yes, who else can one quote at these times?) famously said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” We like to think of our favourite brands whom we shop from, as friends. We want to see them publicly standing against racism and putting ‘our’ money into this cause. We get angry when they don’t. But anger is at the root of where things go wrong. Violence even in the name of virtue can’t be  right... Then again, sometimes the only way to be noticed is to be violent. Kind calm demonstrations probably wouldn’t make the headlines; burning down buildings, does. This is not something to be vindicated by but it is the truth. In a time when there are so many brands - unlike 30 years ago one might say - we can and do boycott which makeup brands get our money. But if a brand makes a truly wonderful inimitable product, how many would still boycott them. Much like a beautiful piece of art painted by a known abusive husband (too many famous artists to list here as examples) would we not still enjoy the art as separate from its creators? Is hounding them until they proclaim their agreement not rather hollow? But as the public’s outrage over Dominic Cummings shows, no it isn’t hollow: we want these individuals in power to be brought down and humbled - even if they do so under duress. Maybe, especially so. We feel cheated if they can happily go about as they were, unpunished.

The point of all this is to say that, as hackneyed as it is, Ghandi’s quote to be the change you wish to see in the world, is the only truth. Making it a norm to be kind and give people the chance to show who they are without our prejudice forcing an identity onto them, it’s hard but we must try. And possibly more importantly, to love ourselves without self hatred and resentment, as this often leads us seek an Other to project all our own insecurities into as a therapeutic release/ scapegoat.

Sometimes the most tiny self care routines are enough to make us feel better and more able to face the world and feel valued. That is why even in lockdown I think it’s crucial to still eat healthily (well of course a few extra treats are understandable...) exercise and still do your hair and makeup and nails, if it brings you joy. My face of the day isn’t what it is when I know I’ll be seen and judged, but it is still a face of the day even if all I do is a trip to the shop or a socially distanced catch up. It’s:

Thebalm balm shelter - comes in extra light and goes to extra dark. My shade is “lighter than light” (I see no issues with the shade names; “light” and “dark” should have no connotations in either direction.) Anyway, this gives skin an even canvas and it has SPF 18. All sunscreens break me out but thankfully, not this. It’s therefore my daily face sunscreen too. Eyebrows - brows are so important. I like to use the Morphe  e29 angled brush and spoolie with some brown eyeshadow (usually MAC or Sleek) and I like to sometimes use eyeshadow but generally if I skip eye makeup I will then always use a lip and cheek colour. I like Lipstick Queen lipstick which I then dab into cheeks.